Monday, June 19, 2017

Finding thee relationship

Finding thee relationship

When a child finally hits the teen years, something begins to switch in their brains and their minds begin to send out all kinds of flashing new signals. A lot of these signals get triggered when it comes to being in the presence of the opposite sex. Uh ohh... nope, I'm not going to get into sex education in this post. That is definitely not what I'm going for here, continue on and don't be scared. So the teens mind begins to change. They begin to care about how they look to those of the opposite sex, how they smell, perhaps change the way they dress, maybe do their hair, and so on. They want to present themselves in a way that will allow them to gain the approval of someone else. They now feel a need for companionship. They want to feel secure and loved in a new light. One that they have never really known before. They seek something they aren't quite sure why, but they want to feel a connection with someone of a different gender.

As the teen gets older they grow, and merge into young adulthood. These years are where that desire begins to take an even bigger turn. The young adult is now more wise in a sense, and has a greater desire and need for that companionship they've been looking for. They want to feel loved. They want to share their own love. They need to find someone who reciprocates the same feelings that they have. They desire relationship with someone. 

Over the years I've dated off an on. I have experienced love, heartbreak, lust, infatuation, uncertainty, and more. I've had good relationships, and very poor ones. I've had dreams I've hoped for become true and bring me joy, and I've had experiences where some nightmare you never thought could happen to you, but you only see on the news, actually happen to me. Relationship. A word that means so much, but not everyone sees the full capacity of its meaning. Some people take bits and pieces of it's meaning and choose what they want from it. Maybe they look the companionship aspect to a relationship, maybe they like not having to feel alone, maybe they like having someone to constantly spend time and share important moments of their lives with, maybe some are just in it to experience fulfillment of their sexual needs. Whatever the case may be, relationships are highly underrated in today's society. People don't seem to be looking for "the one" anymore. They are more focused on who or what feels good in their present moment. Many don't take the time to think about the bigger picture, or the long run anymore. They instead think, who or what will make me feel good right now? How can this need I have be met now? Can he or she get the job done for me? Let's just settle for now... maybe it'll turn into something bigger maybe not, but does it actually matter? Eh probs not. I will admit I've definitely fallen under this gratification/get my love now kinda fix before too. I'm pretty sure everyone starts to fall under that spell at one point or another in their lives. We just want to feel good and feel like we matter to someone. Psh I know I definitely do. However, each of us fail to realize our worth sometimes. We lose our sense of respect for ourselves, our minds, our bodies. We don't take into consideration about how that fix will make us feel in the long run or how it will effect us later on in life. We don't take the time to step back and see the bigger picture that god actually has for us. How he actually has thee one for us. Sure it's good to date different people. It's totally 100% healthy and normal. But is everything we choose to do in those relationships really good for us? Or will be good for us when we go to move into relationships in the future? 

How are we supposed to find the one or why should we care? God has someone special picked out for every human on this planet. Well dang, doesn't that make you feel loved or special just thinking about that? Like woah there's some human out there you may have not even met yet that's just laying there at night dying to know you, and they don't even know who you are yet. That's like mega freaking rad. In order to have an effective relationship you need to have some important factors going on: trust, the right timing, balance of  common interests and differences, love, personal healing and mentally stability so you won't have baggage that hinders your relationship, and common goals. These factors are all sooo super important. Without them, that long term relationship will begin to sink and slowly drown. 

You need to learn how to love yourself, your life, and learn to succeed on your own before you dive into a relationship. Find out who you are. How are you supposed to learn to care about someone and everything that makes up who they are, when you don't even know who you are? Learn to love yourself, build  trust, trust god, mend your heart and mind. You can do it. Don't
Just date everyone who flirts with you and thinks you rock that haircut or are looking stylish in those clothes.  Don't date everyone. Don't love everyone in a special relationship sense. It's okay to take a break and live your life. You will find thee one. It all takes time.